Love bombing: Everything you need to know

Everything you need to know about love bombing.

This is a tactic commonly used by perpetrators of domestic abuse and is a form of emotional abuse.

Love bombing is an extremely manipulative tactic used by abusers, but it’s also very hard to detect and recognise when it’s happening.

Have you ever felt like things were too good to be true with the person you’re dating?

At the very beginning, perhaps they showered you with compliments, attention, and, in general, made you feel as special as you are. You might believe you’ve discovered someone who not only liked you but also showed it by giving you presents, attention, and other things. All the affirmation and confirmation, that you have been seeking. But as soon as you felt comfortable settling into what seemed to be your new normal, your partner’s behaviour suddenly started to change.

So that you can learn more about what love bombing is, we have put together some information to help you identify when love bombing might take place and the potential warning signs you can look out for. Here is everything you need to know…

What is love bombing?

‘’ A love bomb refers to the form of emotional manipulation in which a person —“bombs” you with an over-the-top amount of affection, flattery, gifts, and praise early in the relationship in order to win over your attention for the purpose of being able to control you.’’

“Love bombing is largely an unconscious behaviour. It’s about really getting the other person. Then, when they feel like they really got the person and they feel secure in the relationship, the abuser typically switches and becomes very difficult, abusive, or manipulative.”

Spotting the signs:

Although dating a love bomber won’t always appear the same, some red flags include lavish gifts, excessive flattery, many texts of praise, and a persistent need for a quick response.

Here are some things a love bomber might say:

  1. “I want to spoil you.” – If a partner is buying you gifts after a short amount of time this could be seen as a red flag.
  2. “All I want is to be with you constantly.” – You have a right to freedom and independence; you do not have to be with a partner 24/7. If you are made to feel guilty for putting boundaries in place, this is a sign love bombing might be happening in your relationship.
  3. ‘’Together forever, right?’’

Here are some ways a love bomber may act:

  • The love bomber may distance you from your family and friends and demand all of your time and attention.
  • The love bomber may ask for passwords, check social media profiles, or frequently check your location.
  • The love bomber may frequently buy you expensive gifts or take you out on luxury dates.

Once the victim develops a dependence on the love bomber, not only has the love bomber acquired power over their partner’s mind and heart, but their ego has also been boosted. They begin the process of withdrawing from the relationship at this point because they have no need for their partner.

The love bomber may start emotionally abusing their lover once they start to withdraw. They might insult, criticize, gaslight, and make their partner feel unimportant and undervalued. The abuser knows they are in control of their victim and may eventually walk away from the relationship, knowing they may come back at any time to resume the cycle of abuse.

If you feel that you have experienced love bombing or are currently experiencing this within your relationship, NIDAS are here to help. When you are ready, we are here to listen. You can contact us on 01623 683 250 or through our secure online form.

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