What they look like, how to spot them and how to stay safe

Digital abuse is when someone uses technology to intimidate, control, threaten or harm another person. It can be subtle or overt, public or private — but it’s always damaging. As more of our lives move online, tech can be used to protect us and, sadly, to hurt us. This guide explains the main types of digital abuse, what the signs look like, and practical steps you can take to be safer. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

Table of contents

1. What is digital abuse?

2. Quick safety checklist (if you’re worried right now)

3. The 16 types of digital abuse

4. How to collect and keep evidence safely

5. How employers, friends and family can help

6. FAQs (concise answers for quick help)

7. Get confidential support from NIDAS

What is digital abuse?

Digital abuse is any behaviour that uses mobile phones, apps, social media, smart devices or AI tools to control, surveil, shame, threaten or isolate someone. It can involve stalking, sharing private images without permission, financial control through online accounts and much more.

Digital abuse can be part of a wider pattern of domestic abuse or a stand-alone form of harm.

Quick safety checklist — if you’re worried right now

• If in immediate danger, call 999.

• If you can, move to a safe device (someone else’s phone or a public computer).

• Don’t do anything that might escalate the situation (e.g. confronting the person if this increases risk).

• Save evidence (screenshots, messages) in a secure place if it is safe to do so.

• Contact a confidential support service — NIDAS: 01623 683250 | [email protected] or seek victim support from Nottinghamshire Victim CARE (0800 304 7575).

The 16 types of digital abuse — what they mean, signs and safety steps

1. Digital surveillance

Definition: Using apps, device tracking or shared accounts to monitor someone’s activity or location.
Signs: Checking your phone, demanding passwords, location always “on,” sudden battery drain, appearing where you go.
Safety steps: Turn off location sharing; check paired devices; change passwords on a safe device; avoid using shared accounts; seek specialist safety planning.

2. Cyberstalking

Definition: Persistent online harassment that follows you across platforms to intimidate or control.
Signs: Repeated messages, appearing in comments instantly, anonymous accounts watching your stories, threats, repeated contact after blocking.
Safety steps: Block and report accounts; make profiles private; save evidence; limit real-time posting; contact support services for help.

3. GPS / location tracking

Definition: Using phone features or trackers to know where you are in real time.
Signs: You’re “found” wherever you go, strange Bluetooth devices appear, your phone battery drains fast, unknown devices connected, someone knows your routes.
Safety steps: Turn off app location sharing, check Find My/Find My Device, look for physical trackers in bags/cars, change Wi-Fi and Bluetooth settings, get expert tech support.

4. Image-based abuse (threats to share intimate images)

Definition: Threatening to share or actually sharing private photos or videos to coerce or shame.
Signs: Pressure to send images, threats to post intimate photos, blackmail, someone accessing your gallery, messages about “proof.”
Safety steps: Don’t give in to threats; save evidence; report to platforms; contact specialist services (laws apply to non-consensual sharing); consider safer devices.

5. Coercive control via accounts

Definition: Managing or manipulating your online accounts to control you (email, social, banking).
Signs: Being locked out of accounts, transactions without consent, deleted contacts, one person controls logins.
Safety steps: Set up a private email, change passwords on a safe device, enable two-factor authentication, separate finances where possible, talk to your bank and a support worker.

6. Online harassment and trolling

Definition: Sending abusive messages, public shaming or spreading rumours online.
Signs: Repeated insults, public humiliation, hate messages, coordinated attacks, being mentioned in groups to isolate you.
Safety steps: Mute/block/report; limit commenting; keep evidence; get support from trusted people; consider reporting persistent harassment to police.

7. Catfishing and sock-puppet accounts

Definition: People using fake accounts to monitor, manipulate or test your loyalty.
Signs: Unknown profiles with personal details, fake accounts contacting you after a disagreement, accusations backed by fake accounts.
Safety steps: Don’t engage; screenshot suspicious activity; strengthen privacy settings; tell trusted contacts what’s happening; get specialist support.

8. Deepfake and synthetic media abuse

Definition: Creating realistic but fake images, audio or video of you to humiliate or blackmail.
Signs: Rumours about images/videos you never created, pressure to “prove” you didn’t do something, threats of fabricated content.
Safety steps: Save threats as evidence; report content to platforms; use reverse image searches; contact support organisations for legal advice.

9. Doxxing (doxing)

Definition: Publishing personal details (address, workplace, family contacts) online to intimidate or expose someone.
Signs: Personal data appearing publicly, unwanted visits, strangers contacting you with private info, blackmail demands.
Safety steps: Remove personal details from public profiles, contact platforms to remove doxxed content, document threats, inform trusted people and law enforcement if needed.

10. Financial abuse via digital tools

Definition: Using banking apps, online shopping, subscriptions or cards to control someone’s finances.
Signs: Unauthorised payments, removal from joint accounts, pressure to share card details, being monitored through statements.
Safety steps: Change banking passwords on a safe device, set up an alert email/phone only you control, contact your bank for a safe-account plan, seek confidential money-advice support.

11. Tech-enabled child monitoring

Definition: Using children’s phones or apps to track or monitor a parent.
Signs: Child repeating things out of context, location shared without consent, unknown apps on a child’s device, questioning about movements.
Safety steps: Check device settings with your child; remove unknown apps; inform school safeguarding staff if concerned; get family safety planning help.

12. Smart-home device abuse

Definition: Using cameras, smart locks, speakers or thermostats to watch, control or intimidate someone.
Signs: Lights/doors alarmed remotely, unknown users on device accounts, cameras left on, being shut out of systems.
Safety steps: Reset devices to factory settings, change Wi-Fi and device passwords, remove unknown users, seek technical support and safety planning.

13. AI-generated threats and manipulation

Definition: Using AI to create threats, fake messages, or to automate harassment (bots, fake reviews, fabricated proof).
Signs: Repeated bot messages, fake screenshots claiming you said something you didn’t, AI voices or texts used to threaten.
Safety steps: Keep evidence; report to platforms; block suspicious accounts; seek specialist help; advise professionals if AI is being used as evidence in abuse.

14. Digital gaslighting

Definition: Manipulating or deleting digital records to make you doubt your memory or sanity.
Signs: Conversations deleted, screenshots changed, someone denies past messages you remember, conflicting evidence appears.
Safety steps: Take time-stamped screenshots, use secure folders for copies, trust your memory, get support from someone who can validate your experience.

15. Location-enabled stalking via apps

Definition: Using social media check-ins, “live” posts or map apps to find and follow someone.
Signs: People showing up at places you posted, “coincidental” encounters, pressure to share live locations, comments about your whereabouts.
Safety steps: Turn off location sharing, avoid real-time posting, check app privacy settings, disable tagging and “nearby” features.

16. Online isolation and social control

Definition: Forcing someone to unfollow, delete contacts, or limiting who they can talk to online.
Signs: Pressure to remove friends, guilt or threats about contacts, demands to approve who you follow, being blocked from support networks.
Safety steps: Keep a separate private list of safe contacts, use a private backup email, screenshot controlling messages, seek support and keep plans private.

How to collect and keep evidence safely

• Save screenshots and forward them to a secure email only you can access.

• Keep a dated log of abusive incidents (time, platform, content).

• If a device is compromised, avoid using it for sensitive tasks (use a safe device to communicate with support).

• Don’t post about safety plans on social media.

• If you fear escalation, reach out to NIDAS for a confidential safety plan.

Important: some actions (like confronting the person or deleting apps) can increase danger. Always check safety guidance with a support worker before making changes.

What friends, family and employers can do

• Believe the person and avoid blaming questions.

• Offer a safe, private space to talk and make a plan.

• Keep records of worrying messages if asked to help.

• Employers: provide trauma-informed policies, signposting and private support referrals. NIDAS offers workplace guidance and training.

• Don’t try to be the sole solution — link the person to specialist services.

FAQs

Q: What is digital abuse?
A: Digital abuse is using technology to control, harass, stalk or humiliate someone. It includes tracking, image threats, financial manipulation, and more.

Q: How can I check if my phone is being monitored?
A: Look for sudden battery drain, unknown apps, weird data use, unexpected restarts, or new paired devices. If you suspect monitoring, use a safe device to get help.

Q: Should I delete evidence of abuse?
A: No. Keep screenshots and timestamps in a secure place. If deletion is safer because of immediate risk, speak to a support worker first.

Q: Who can help me if I’m facing digital abuse?
A: Specialist domestic abuse services like NIDAS can help with safety planning, digital safety advice and signposting. If you’re in immediate danger, call 999.

Q: Can AI or deepfakes be used as abuse?
A: Yes. AI can create fake images/audio to intimidate. Save evidence, report to platforms, and get specialist advice — this is a form of abuse.

How NIDAS can help

NIDAS provides confidential, trauma-informed support for women and families affected by domestic abuse — including help with digital safety, wellbeing services, child and family support, talking therapies and workplace advice. If digital abuse is part of what you’re experiencing, we can help you create a safety plan that fits your life and reduces risk.

Digital abuse grows in silence. Sharing this guide could help someone see what’s happening and reach out for help. If you found this useful, please share or save the page. NIDAS is here to help — quietly, confidentially and without judgement.

Get in touch: 
If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

Call: 01623 683 250
Email: [email protected]